Story --- The Power of It

(5 days until race day!!!  Made to Move )

I often think about stories from the perspective of a reading teacher.  That's a really great way to get to think about stories.  I can think about Patricia Polacco and Kevin Henkes and the stories of Jacqueline Woodson and Peter Reynolds. I use stories every day to teach skills and help connect us in our classroom community but more recently I have been thinking about my own story.  I still don't know that I could tell my own story.

This summer I have decided to really begin the work of figuring out my story because I truly love knowing others' stories.

On Saturday morning, I was at Kate's soccer game in Sauk Prairie.  The facility was beautiful.  The weather was beautiful.  At halftime Roger and I walked back to the car so I could get something to drink.  We were walking back into the stadium when a gentleman who had been standing at the fence turned.

"Who do your girls play in the postseason?' he asked.

We began a conversation simply about the soccer season and playoffs but it quickly turned to more.

"Who are you watching?" I asked him.

"My granddaughter is number 22. She's a freshman."

Somehow the story continued and I learned his name and that he had once been the principal and superintendent in Sauk Prairie.  What was even more interesting to me was that he had filled in as superintendent at Benton Schools (which is super close to the Illinois border and coops with some sports with Scales Mound).  He talked about his sons and their families.  He talked about how his daughter in law had played soccer at UW-Madison. As we continued to listen to Mr. Tom Andres talk, it was evident that he was someone important.  He was wearing his floppy hat, red t-shirt, and khaki shorts but there was just something about listening to him talk about his family and their amazing work that made me want to know more about him.  Sure enough when I googled him I found this:  https://www.swnews4u.com/local/southwest/andres-brings-plethora-of-experience-to-benton-schools/

I truly believe that stories have power.  I try to teach my 5th graders how to write their own stories for that reason -- their stories have power.  As a lover of all things magic, I believe that magic is in the stories, too.  There was definitely something magical about our conversation with Tom Andres on Saturday. I want to work on knowing my own story.  This is my first step.

I was listening to a TED talk by Susan Conley and she talked about encouraging students to write with their heart.  I think that is what makes writing and sharing my own story so hard.  It means I have to trust that whoever I share it with or whoever reads it will not stomp all over it.  TRUST.  That is the hard part.   I know I want to dig in to my story but first I want to deal with the part about trust. 

Today I want to share with you a little bit about why I don't trust.  That's where I think my work on my own story needs to begin.  

During the summer of 2014, I decided to switch schools and districts.  I left what was comfortable and familiar where I had 16 years of experience to risk starting over with something unknown.  That in itself was enough of a challenge but what made things even tougher was when I walked into the teacher's lounge early in the year to hear, "Nobody at her old school liked her.  I can't believe ...."  The conversation was about me and I heard every word that was said.  This often replays in my mind.  I think about how I can unhear the conversation that I heard. It's impossible for that to happen. I've been asked to work with the person who was saying things about me that day in a few different ways.  I have worked hard to hold my head up each time.  I'm sure we all have stories like this but I am going to work through mine.  My story of not being enough to others and feeling invisible is not a story that's just mine but I'm ready to start telling all the parts of my story.

@fellowflowers

Here's to a great week of possibility ahead!  

Mid May Check in

 

 18/22 days of meeting my step goal. (82%)

Somehow this month I am a week behind.  I would have loved to have taken time for a mid May check in but here we are on the 22nd.  The days seem to be flying by and I am not doing a great job of getting ahead on things.  Three weeks from today I will be toeing the line at Made To Move in Madison.  To say that I am undertrained is an understatement.  

A couple of weeks ago at our staff meeting our building principal compared the school year to a marathon.  He said that the marathon runners don't get this close to the finish line and slow down.  We can't slow down or let up on instruction and expectations either.  I thought about the marathons I've run and I am horrible at the "finish strong" part.  I am going to do better 

May has been a mental struggle for me that I wasn't expecting.  This is not to excuse me but just to explain it the best that I can.  

Last Sunday I had a crazy freakout.  It's really funny to hear Kate and Will retell the scenario as they saw it happen.  Here's a little bit of the situation from my perspective:

Roger and I are taking a Financial Peace University course.  It's hard for me because it is a completely different mindset change.  I have repeatedly (since I was 18 and in college) used credit cards to excess.  It's a horrible habit but it has definitely been one of the things I've used to "cope" with stress.  Are you feeling sad about something?   Buy 4 pairs of jeans.  Are you super proud of your recent race?   Reward yourself with 3 new pairs of Nikes.  Worried about something that might happen next week?  Distract yourself by spending $400 you don't have. Did you work hard this week?  Let's get a few new dresses for school.  Clearly I needed this Financial Peace course but it is hard for me.   

The course requires that budget/plan every dollar, watch a video and then attend the Sunday class together.  On Sunday morning we watched our video and it hit me in the heart HARD for a couple of reasons.  First it hit me because Dave Ramsey told the story of his friend who took his entire family on a vacation to Greece - all of his kids and grandkids - with cash.  In June of 2016, my parents took all of us on a family vacation (it wasn't a $70,000 trip but....).  I want to be able to do those kinds of things for my family.  If I don't make some changes to how I spend/save money, I won't be able to.  

The second part of Dave Ramsey's story was about the same many and how his family bought a bunch of new bicycles and gave them away.  Roger and I would love to be able to give in ways like that whether it be to give back to our local community or to our alma maters in scholarships.  The video we watched went on to talk about the next steps to financial peace with investments, children's college funds, paying off the mortgage, and building wealth and giving.  It just seems so out of reach that I cried big ol' crocodile tears.  I felt so defeated and frustrated with myself and I just needed to have my cry. I went for a run too.

I saw a tweet from @Running_MrJones that said, "Some of us run for fitness.  Some of us run for peace of mind.  Some of us run for cake.  Some of us run for medals.  Some of us run to be a better me.  Some of us are running aways from our past, our problems, the madness of living.  We run for different reasons but running always helps."   If that isn't the 100% truth, it has to be at least 98% truth ;-)

Last Sunday I ran 6 miles for peace of mind.  It wasn't easy but it made it possible for me to return home and do all the things I needed to do without dwelling on the frustration of the early morning video.  My purpose for running is different on different days and in different stages of my life.  Thankfully I found running.

On May 12, 2017, my dad got sick and was admitted to the hospital in Iowa City.  It was Mother's Day Weekend.  Early Monday, June 12, he passed away.  That same morning I had a job interview for a job I really wanted.  I left my parent's house for the interview right behind the van that took my father's body to the mortuary. I was offered the job.  I wasn't able to accept the job....big life changes really shouldn't be made during bereavement.  

May and June have been hard months for me since 2017.  I know they are going to be hard so I try not to overcomplicate things.  I go to bed at a reasonable time and I try to get up early enough to run before work.  I eat as healthy as I can within reason....after all we own a pizza place and I don't cook....another  reason I run is so I can eat the pizza without feeling all the guilt. 

This year I am feeling all the extra sad feels of May.  The final group of students that I taught in Illinois are graduating from high school.  Actually their ceremony was last night.  I am going through some mourning over this.  I am trying to reframe this in my own mind.  It's been a little easier because on Tuesday night Kate played soccer in Galena.  After the game we went into Wal Mart and right as we walked in I saw Nicolene.  Once upon a time I had worked with her at the Stillman Inn Tea Room but more recently (8 years ago) I had the privilege of being her oldest daughter's 5th grade teacher.  I hugged Nicolene and we caught up on how her daughter is doing amazing things.  One thing that I truly treasure is the end of the year gift that Nicolene's daughter gave me in May 2013.  

On Thursday night we traveled to Middleton to watch Kate play soccer.  On the way home I realized that it was Graduation Eve for the group of kids I taught my last year in Illinois.  My heart felt all the feels and I sent a quick message to one of them.  I hope he knows how much it meant to me that he wrote me back.  

Life is hard and some days (lots of days) I am not feeling "it."  Thankfully I have an amazing family who makes me laugh more than cry.  I have found a way to run for my sanity, too.

Friday was the 5th grade concert for my current students.  In a sense it is the unwritten beginning of the end of the school year celebrations.  There are always big emotions with the event.  The music teacher does an amazing job with it and with all of the strange things that COVID threw out, she and the 5th graders far exceeded expectations.  The songs they performed were so passionate and soulful. 

 It would have been a perfect Friday to go home after school and kick up my feet, but Kate had another soccer game so I excitedly made my way to Platteville to cheer her on.  By the time we got home and ate dinner, I still needed to get some activity in so I headed out for 2 easy miles knowing that today was going to be an early day of soccer and track spectating.

This morning I got up and set out for 5 miles that turned into 4...It wasn't ideal but it was better than 0.  The miles felt hard and hot even before 8 am. Hard miles help the heavenly miles create a balance with each other.  

I have 21 days until my Made to Move 10K and I am going to get there and give it my best.  #finishstrong

This Week's Slides

Bud, Not Buddy Chapter 15

 

Bud, Not Buddy Chapter 16

Slides

May Day

 I absolutely love the possibilities of NEW!   New month - awesome.  New Week - love it!  New day--sweet opportunites.  New shoes---even better 😜   But seriously.  There is something amazing about NEW and all that it represents.  

This month I am working on focusing on some new habits that will hopefully bring me closer to my goals, but before I move on to the new, I'd love to reflect on what's been happening in the last month.

April is a big birthday month at our house.  Both Kate and Will celebrated during April.  I cannot believe that I have been a mom for 17 years.  That seems so unreal to me especially since I really do often still feel 30.  

April brought about Kate's first college visit.  She loved everything about Marian University.  April brought about the beginning of spring sports:  soccer and track.  

April was a good reading month for me.  I finished Bravey, Outliers, and You're Not Enough.  I'm excited for my list of to be read titles for May.  

I made it to my step goal 23 days out of 30.  While I wish I had met the 80%, I am okay with what it was.

I have some big goals in terms of money and running/health this month.   I'm determined to stick to the budget this month.  It means I need to avoid buying anything new that isn't necessary.  Like I said at the beginning of  this post, I LOVE new....it's going to be hard not to buy new things but I know that I don't need things. I'm going to take this one week at a time.  I'll try and check in about it each week.  We are taking a Financial Peach course. Have you ever taken one?  Are you familiar with Dave Ramsey?  I'd love to hear from you about this if you have experience.

My health/ running goals are pretty typical.  I want to meet my step goal at least 80% of the days.  I'd like to run 25 miles or more each week.  I'm going to drink water daily (that's really hard for me....I rarely drink water).  I have about 6 weeks until Made to Move.  I'm working toward a 54 miinutes 10K.

I hope to help my kids feel strong and confident in their final month of this school year.  I think this is so hard.  This week I watched frustration and sadness show in both my kids.  Things in this world are telling them they aren't enough....other kids, coaches, teachers.  It sucks to watch them experience disappointment.  I know I can't keep them from it, but I hope I can teach them how to overcome it!

Today's the first day of the new month and I got out there for 5 miles to kick things off.  The weather is beautiful.  

What goals do you have for May?

This Week's Slides

 Check out the google classroom slides for this week - HERE.

Reflection and Goals

 How can it be that it's April?  Does anyone else feel like the first 3 months of 2021 went whizzing by at a quicker pace than you were ready for?  That is not a bad thing....I just can't believe that it's April.  I am ready for the warmer weather that will hopefully be coming. 

This week was spring break and it did not feel like spring to me.  I wore my winter coat every day and ran in layers whenever I ran outside.  

I have been doing lots of my miles outside and I am happy to say that I have been hitting 25 (or more) running miles for the last month.

This week was a pretty low key spring break week.  We did some small things each day but never anything far away.  Today I headed to my mom's house for a visit and I am looking forward to all the Easter celebrations in Illinois this weekend.

Along with my visit at my mom's house, another highlight was a book club meeting on Monday night.  We read the book Such a Fun Age by Kiley Reid.  It was a good eye-opener for me and I loved discussing the book with such amazing women.  While Emira, the main character,  may not be a hero by definition, I felt like she took some bold steps for herself and I really loved the ending. 

My next book that I've started reading is part of a book club, too:  Bravey by Alexi Pappas.  If you are interested in joining our discussion, let me know.  It starts on Sunday, April 11.

Each day of the school week I read a #classroombookaday to my 5th graders.  My absolute favorite in March was Eyes That Kiss in the Corners.  If you have any reason to read a wonderful picture book,  I encourage you to pick up this one.

In March I had my annual physical and this year I had bloodwork done (haven't had that done since I was pregnant so at least 15 years ago....).   I was really pleased with all of my numbers there.  That doesn't mean that I am going to get lazy and content.  I have some work to do to get better. My workouts were decent during the first quarter of the year but I am going to work on adding in some weight training and abs on a more regular schedule.  

In March Kate and I ran a REAL RACE!!!   It was the Dyersville, IA, Gaelic Gallop 8K.  I am super happy with how well we did.  Finished in 45:55 (9:10 avg pace).  My next race is June 12 (10K) so I'd like to be able to run it in 55 minutes or less.   I think I can train for that.

I am so proud of the first quarter of 2021 and I can't wait to see more great things happen from now until the end of June.  I will check in along the way to share how it's going.

Goals:

Run 25 or more miles each week.

Drink water daily.

Weight train at least 2 x a week.

Do ab work 5 x a week.

Here's to a great April!   It's birthday month for both of my kiddos.  I don't need excuses to celebrate them so I'm sure there will lots of fun things this week.

Declare It Day - One Month into 2021

How's your momentum going so far this year?   How much thought do you give to momentum?  A few weeks ago, Mel from Fellow Flowers wrote about momentum and a conversation that she had with her daughter Alexis when they were finishing up their run coming down a hill.   Now I know that I am not a science teacher (Kudos to any of you that are.  I had a super awesome science teacher in high school - Mr. Etnyre.  I am always fascinated by science but could never teach it.), but I do love what momentum can represent - ENERGY!  I have been thinking about this whole idea of momentum/energy since the year began.  I want to increase the things that move me forward and decrease the things that are holding me back.  Sounds simple, right?   I wish it were.  

Here's one of the ways to get momentum going in my life:  set a powerful goal.   That's what Declare It Day is all about.  It was so awesome to be participating in my 5th DID with Fellow Flowers. 

This was definitely different though.  I wasn't able to go meet up with the crew and run any miles like in the past.  Instead it was a Zoom meet up last night - different but still so fulfilling.

When the new year began, I chose BELIEVE as my word for the year and it really is going to help me build and keep my momentum going to reach my 2021 Declare It Day Goal. A second step in maintaining momentum in life has to do with getting and staying motivated.  I've been working on that with book clubs.  My current book club is Get Out Of Your Head by Jennie Allen. While in the book, she talks about it as spiraling and not momentum, I feel like it's really similar.  Creating that new normal where we are operating in our purpose...sounds like momentum to me.  Jennie Allen talks about how if we don't believe (yes - she used that word) our minds will spin and spin looking for a place to land.  Much of this is about thoughts and positive thinking.  I am determined this year to use my BELIEF in myself to keep motivated and fixated on my declaration.

As I looked back on my declarations from year's past, I saw a pretty common thread of good habits and improving myself. Last year my declaration was to simplify-- get out of the mindset and thinking of more is better.  I'm not really straying from that tremendously this year.  This year I will believe in my faith, my journey, my own strength, and my abilities to overcome.  So much of what holds me back is in my own head.  

I've been working with Kate to prepare for her ACT test in March and one of the key things we keep reading is how important mental preparation and confidence is.  Many things we have been reading are about developing a positive mental attitude and simply believing that YOU WILL DO WELL!  Intend to do your best and believe it.  That's my big declaration for this year.  I'm going to stop believing the lies in my head and really do the things in my heart.  

This will be my year of doing more than just going through the motions.  That may seem like momentum but it's not.  In that sense it's an illusion.  That is more like drudgery than anything positive.  

I am going to live this year with momentum that is filled with meaning!

I promise that it wasn't a typo in the word abilities...just didn't have enough space for all my words...

Here's to new beginnings EVERY day:  365 chances to get better each and every year.  Use your momentum and move toward the life you want and can make happen!

Added just for a little motivation:

Will I Am