Fellow Flowers Joy Challenge --- About Me

 Sunday started the Fellow Flowers JOY Challenge.   I am fortunate enough to get to be a part of the 5 week challenge.   I am leading week 1 so my "story" was shared today.  Here's what was shared:

Lead with joy

After years spent cultivating joyful energy, Margaret Bussan now shares her sunshine with everyone she meets. Read on for how the Lancaster, Wisconsin, teacher connects and runs with her “joy crew” and find her top ten reasons for loving summer! How’d you become a runner?   Running didn’t come naturally to me. I had always enjoyed walking and fitness classes (cue step aerobics, Jane Fonda and Denise Austin) but I had never even been an athlete of any kind. In January of 2010, a 24-hour gym opened up a block away from my house. On opening day, I went in there at 4 a.m. so that I could get a workout in before my morning work commute. That 4 a.m. time was perfect to start my fitness journey, which revolved around miles on the treadmill at first. I started with walking. By mid-February, I realized that I could get my four miles in faster if I would bump up the speed a little bit on the treadmill. I started sleeping in about fifteen minutes more and jogging my miles instead of walking them. In July, I saw a sign up for a half marathon on Labor Day. I signed up. Labor Day was on September 6 that year. I had been consistent with my treadmill mileage from January through August but I had NEVER run outside until race day! That half marathon was an experience. I quickly realized how much more enjoyable running outside was compared to the treadmill. I still love the occasional treadmill miles but have tried to make more of my runs on the road and with friends. What’s your current relationship status with running?  I have come to truly find JOY in being able to run. Throughout 2023, I have had a few health hiccups that have caused me to be out of running for some short periods of time. These have created a new appreciation for what running gives me: JOY!  I am not my fastest right now, but I am consistent with running. I log between 20 and 30 miles a week. What line from the Joy flower resonates with you most?   EVERY LINE of JOY resonates with me! Today I am going to go with the line “to appreciate sunshine” because I got up and got my miles in before work because the sunshine coming through the bedroom window was my motivation. What role does joy play in your life?   I think this is a key question. I believe that everything we do is infused with the energy that we do it with. If we do something with joyful energy, it will be joyful.  Please don’t confuse my answer with toxic positivity. When a situation is rough, I try to find the joy in it. Not to bring in nerdy brain science, but I really think that I have trained my brain to find the joy in things. Over the last ten years, and maybe  even a little more, I have chosen the JOY flower for my runs more than any other flower. It might even be possible to say that I practice joy often so that my joy muscles are always in good health. I am definitely a “lead with my heart” type of person and the emotion I choose to lead with is joy! What — and we’re taking big things, small things, silly things, anything! — brings you joy? I think I find joy in everything. I am lucky to find joy in my chosen profession. I find joy in serving others — as a church volunteer and MVRA board member, to name a few. Some of the small things that bring me great joy are time at home with my family, a quiet evening reading or watching TV. I experience joy watching my kids do things they love. I find joy in time with my running friends. Freshly baked cookies fresh from the oven brings me joy. Seeing someone — anyone — experience success brings me joy. Working hard for a goal brings me joy. Where is your happy place?   My happy place is with my family (Roger, Kate and Will) or anywhere the sun is shining. I’d love to say it’s at a beach but I feel like we rarely get to a beach. Why is joy important to you?   Joy is more than happiness to me. Joy goes along with my physical and mental health. It relates to accomplishments and being more than satisfied. Joy is experienced. I think joy shows in my smile and becomes something that I am able to share with others. How do joy and friendship intersect for you?   One way that I feel like joy grows is through shared experiences, and this is definitely a connection to friendships. Sharing a meal together brings joy and builds friendship. Running with others is another way that joy and friendship intersects for me. I experience great joy when I get to run with others. How about friendship and running?   I have been so lucky to build the friendships I have with other runners. One of my favorite things about my joy crew is that we are all at different points in life and yet we are able to share experiences. I feel lucky that our friendship isn’t forced. I never feel pressure to be anything more than I am with my run friends. When I am with my run crew, I am able to just be in the moment with them. The moments with them are what they are and that helps bring pure joy. How do friends make running better?   Shared experience and shared pain — just kidding! Running friends give me something to look forward to about the runs besides the mileage. I love the time spent with them. We are each other’s biggest cheerleaders. We support each other through the hard and we celebrate each other during the great! Knowing that we are there for each other builds my own confidence in myself and I hope it makes them feel more capable, too! While we all have shared values, passions and goals, we also have great differences that help us to be so much stronger together. Having my run crew helps me to be accountable even on the hard days. There have also been times where I might have quit running if I didn’t have my run crew. The support and friendships makes working hard more fun.   What’s the best part of summer?   Oh, how I LOVE summer! I don’t think I can pick one thing that’s the best part, but here are my top 10 reasons that summer is my favorite season: 10. Warm weather. 9. Sunlight before I even have to get out of bed. 8. Blue skies. 7. More time for adventures and fun trips. 6. Less pressure and less go go go than the school-year routines (a chance to relax). 5. Race opportunities are abundant.  4. Time for bike rides.  3. Saturday farmer’s markets 2. Weekend bonfires and s’mores.  1. Listening to music in the car at a pretty loud volume with the windows down and the sunroof open

July Plans

 July is always a big month.  This year it's as big as always.  It starts out with all of the Independence Day Celebrations (which actually start with the Lancaster Jaycees Fireworks on the last Friday of June).

This year July marks my only vacation time.  I am on vacation through Sunday, July 25.  I thought 3 weeks would feel great but then I started putting things on the calendar and realized that there were really only 6 days that I didn't have something planned.   As I was working on filling in our family calendar, I decided to make a running calendar, too.  As part of the Made to Move Summer Challenge I will be running a half marathon in August so I need to follow some kind of a training plan so that I'm ready.

Running Calendar

Family Calendar

I completed 3 really successful weeks of summer school with some amazing kids in June.  One of the things we did during our last week together (20 minutes per day) was watch Luca.  Have you seen it?  It seemed like the perfect movie preparation for summer!!  Summer boredom causes the main character, Luca, to go to the surface of the water and explore farther than he should.  

Let's talk about boredom first, shall we?  I wish I could think of a time when I felt bored since 1994.  Seriously.  It just isn't something I ever struggle with.  I think it helps that I always have books I can read and household chores that can be done.  Even when I could be doing those things, I often do other time wasters instead.  Oh how I wish I knew what boredom felt like. 

Luca and Alberto grow a friendship and make plans with an Italian girl named, Guilia.  The threesome is determined to win a triathlon so that they can buy a scooter.  I love the events in their triathlon:  swimming, eating pasta, and bike riding.  While the movie is definitely made for kids, I am so glad that I got to watch it.  I took away so much for myself.  BE BRAVE, BE BOLD, BE YOU!  Luca, Alberto, and Guilia grow through their experiences in the movie and Luca finds the courage to be himself even if it means giving up certain hopes and dreams.  I'm coming away from watching this movie with the confidence to chase some bold goals---please know that none of my goals include swimming. 😜

I've also been reading some great books and I hope to finish 4 more books during July.  Two of the books I'm reading are Mere Christianity by CS Lewis and The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-time Indian by Sherman Alexie.  If you have some great book recommendations, please do share them with me. 

Wrapping Up June

While I didn't get as much running in during June as I had originally hoped, I did enjoy lots of time with my family.  My Garmin goals only hit 21/30 days.  I can do better in July.

My Made to Move 10K was pretty rough and so I am glad that my pace for our July 4th race was nearly a minute per mile faster.  

My 5th annual ICE CREAM STREAK was successful with 30 days of ice cream.  Culver's was probably the most popular ice cream I consumed followed by Phish Food from Ben and Jerry's.  3rd Place goes to Happy Joe's Feature Flavor and the close 4th place of Vesperman Farms.  I haven't had any ice cream in July but I'm sure that I will have some while I am visiting Virginia this week.

My final wrap up on June are 2 connections to my "professional life."  I finished Unit 2 of my LETRS training and have a pretty great score.  I also renewed my Illinois teaching license just to keep my options open.

Planning ahead and working toward goals is something I hope will help me.

Big goals require dedication and commitment not just interest....  Here's to chasing BIG Goals in July and August.

Be a Winner....

 For about a month I have been really thinking, deliberately reflecting, about what it means to win.  I know that seems like a really silly thing to be pondering and putting so much into but I while watching different spring sporting events that my kids have been in and working on my own fitness, I struggled with what it really means to win.  

When I would run half marathons when I first started running in 2011, I remember my own kids and even my students asking me after the races if I had won.  I would always giggle and explain that no I hadn't won but sometimes finishing is an accomplishment.  There were a couple of times that I did "win."  For example at the 2015 Riverview Run 10K, I was the first place woman runner.  It was a small race and I was running really great paces with every mile in the 8s.  My whole thinking around this idea of winning has been brewing since I would watch Will's track meets and Kate's soccer games this spring. 

What does it mean to win?  

There are days lately where I feel like "winning" is simply making it through the day and getting all the things I need to completed.  As I was preparing to run the Fellow Flowers Made to Move 10K in Madison on June 12, I knew I was not going to win or be in the top 3 for my age group.  A few years ago that would have crushed me.  A few years ago I was in a different place.  Winning on June 12 was simply getting my rear to the event, toeing the start line, and completing all 6.2 miles with a smile.  That was a HUGE WIN for me and I am proud of that.  

Over the last year plus, I have come to realize that winning comes from your MINDSET.  

My dear, amazing daughter has really helped me see that.  Her attitude is amazing. She focuses on the positive in every situation.  When I, too often, hold onto the suck and the negativity, she finds the positive.  She is optimistic about everything and I am so proud of her for helping me to really learn from hard lessons and use them to put effort into the positive.  

While watching my son compete in track, I felt his frustration at times.  The events he was in were all individual and he would often feel defeated with his performance.  Winning in track is definitely different from team sports and that was a good thing and a bad thing for my competitive son who did NOT think it was good enough to come in 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th.... or so on.  

As I would watch both of my kids compete this spring I thought a lot about what it meant to win and then I wondered why winning was so important.  

I was not an athletic kid.  My competitions were in academics.  I could win spelling bees and academic bowl meets.  I could have the highest GPA possible and take all the college prep classes.  I could give the Valedictory Address at graduation but I had no idea how to be a winner. Winning seemed tied to the athletics and not so much my academics until my recent concentration on winning and what it means to win.

I have come to the decision that sometimes winning means simply letting go.  

As I have been running some of my miles I have been trying to absorb my feelings into my heart and transfer those into my legs with each step and then let it go.  Winning is learning how to feel the frustration and manage the joy of success, too.

It's time for me to make some plans to improve and get back to being a winner.  This #medalmonday from Made to Move is my first step toward being a winner again.

Story --- The Power of It

(5 days until race day!!!  Made to Move )

I often think about stories from the perspective of a reading teacher.  That's a really great way to get to think about stories.  I can think about Patricia Polacco and Kevin Henkes and the stories of Jacqueline Woodson and Peter Reynolds. I use stories every day to teach skills and help connect us in our classroom community but more recently I have been thinking about my own story.  I still don't know that I could tell my own story.

This summer I have decided to really begin the work of figuring out my story because I truly love knowing others' stories.

On Saturday morning, I was at Kate's soccer game in Sauk Prairie.  The facility was beautiful.  The weather was beautiful.  At halftime Roger and I walked back to the car so I could get something to drink.  We were walking back into the stadium when a gentleman who had been standing at the fence turned.

"Who do your girls play in the postseason?' he asked.

We began a conversation simply about the soccer season and playoffs but it quickly turned to more.

"Who are you watching?" I asked him.

"My granddaughter is number 22. She's a freshman."

Somehow the story continued and I learned his name and that he had once been the principal and superintendent in Sauk Prairie.  What was even more interesting to me was that he had filled in as superintendent at Benton Schools (which is super close to the Illinois border and coops with some sports with Scales Mound).  He talked about his sons and their families.  He talked about how his daughter in law had played soccer at UW-Madison. As we continued to listen to Mr. Tom Andres talk, it was evident that he was someone important.  He was wearing his floppy hat, red t-shirt, and khaki shorts but there was just something about listening to him talk about his family and their amazing work that made me want to know more about him.  Sure enough when I googled him I found this:  https://www.swnews4u.com/local/southwest/andres-brings-plethora-of-experience-to-benton-schools/

I truly believe that stories have power.  I try to teach my 5th graders how to write their own stories for that reason -- their stories have power.  As a lover of all things magic, I believe that magic is in the stories, too.  There was definitely something magical about our conversation with Tom Andres on Saturday. I want to work on knowing my own story.  This is my first step.

I was listening to a TED talk by Susan Conley and she talked about encouraging students to write with their heart.  I think that is what makes writing and sharing my own story so hard.  It means I have to trust that whoever I share it with or whoever reads it will not stomp all over it.  TRUST.  That is the hard part.   I know I want to dig in to my story but first I want to deal with the part about trust. 

Today I want to share with you a little bit about why I don't trust.  That's where I think my work on my own story needs to begin.  

During the summer of 2014, I decided to switch schools and districts.  I left what was comfortable and familiar where I had 16 years of experience to risk starting over with something unknown.  That in itself was enough of a challenge but what made things even tougher was when I walked into the teacher's lounge early in the year to hear, "Nobody at her old school liked her.  I can't believe ...."  The conversation was about me and I heard every word that was said.  This often replays in my mind.  I think about how I can unhear the conversation that I heard. It's impossible for that to happen. I've been asked to work with the person who was saying things about me that day in a few different ways.  I have worked hard to hold my head up each time.  I'm sure we all have stories like this but I am going to work through mine.  My story of not being enough to others and feeling invisible is not a story that's just mine but I'm ready to start telling all the parts of my story.

@fellowflowers

Here's to a great week of possibility ahead!  

3 Weeks IN

 

Last night we sat around our backyard fire pit and just enjoyed the calm and quiet.   It was a PERFECT Saturday evening. After busy weeks and early bed times (seriously --- I have been in bed and asleep by 9 pm since August 31), it felt so good to sit outside and just enjoy.  I admired the trees in the backyard.  As I looked at the middle tree along our lot line, I couldn't believe that it was already beginning to change colors.

Tomorrow marks the autumnal equinox.  It's a perfect checkpoint for me to do some reflecting and planning for what's ahead.  It's also a good reflection time for me because I ran my September half-marathon yesterday.

Yesterday's half marathon wasn't like any of the others that I've run before.... There was no start line or finish line.  No fans cheering along the route.  No other runners to chat with before the National Anthem.  It was just me and the route I chose to run.

My race preparation included an 8 week training plan and coaching from The Radiant Runner. While I was hoping to run a sub 2 hour half I wasn't sure it would be possible.  On September 6 I did some goal setting/reflecting about what I should shoot for.  This is what I set out for my goals:  

Not sure a sub 2 is possible.  I haven’t run a 9:05 average on anything.

A goal:  2:05 (a little less than a 9:30 avg)

B goal:  under 2:10

C goal: finish

I knew that I had trained as best that I could. I was starting to think about how I could have eaten better, lost a few pounds, drank more water, strength trained,..... Those thoughts were not going to help me perform at my best so I turned my thoughts to how thankful I am that I get to RUN! I could not let fear win.

"Fear is gradually replaced by excitement and a simple desire to see what you can do on the day."
—Lauren Fleshman, American distance runner

Friday night I got to watch Will play in a football scrimmage and then it was a Happy Joe's pizza dinner (that's what we have most Friday nights) and then it was early to bed so that I could be running between 7:30 and 8:00 on Saturday morning. When I woke up on Saturday morning, my stomach was growling. I couldn't believe it. Could I really be hungry? I figured that if I ate anything it would throw off my run so I just ignored it. It worked out pretty well to do that. Here's what I did eat:

There were points of my "race" where I walked. By mile 10 I was definitely struggling. I was upset with myself that I had planned the route to go up pool hill after mile 10. What was I thinking? It may have slowed me down but I didn't stop. I finished my 13.1 miles and met my adjusted A goal!!!

The rest of the day was spent chilling at home. It was a perfect "celebration" of a race well run.

As I was watching a Hallmark movie yesterday afternoon we received the email about a positive COVID case at the middle or high school in our district. It was such an overhwelming flow of emotions. Fear, anger, disappointment were just a few of the feelings. I didn't let those live long. Instead I decided that I will continue to celebrate each day that I get to be in person with my 5th graders. We are having fun together and learning every day. I will not let FEAR win.

In this seasonal shift that marks the autumnal equinox, remember that we get a perfect split of half light and half dark. Choose to share the LIGHT!

Set Your Mind to Something....and DO IT!

 

Lancaster in the mornings is a quiet town.  It's my favorite time to roam the streets of town.  In the hours just as the sun rises, it's extremely quiet.  As we run from our house at the southern edge of town to the opposite side where City Limits Road marks a northern border, Kate and I can often count less than 6 cars that go by us during the mile and a half trek.  The sound of a tiny squirrel running up a tree can startle us. I love this quiet time.

  I think my love for this quiet running time is also connected to my love of reading and writing.  These things are done perfectly in quiet.  That isn't to say that I don't love conversation and a little noise too.  I do.  I love the time in my classroom when students are sharing ideas out loud or discussing what they've read.  I love sharing my writing and what I'm reading too - that's why I have this blog 😉😉  But it's about the balance of doing the things that you need to do to be successful.

  This year has been different but it cannot be a year with no goals or hard work.  Even with no races I am continuting to work hard with my running (Thank you, Kaiti, for keepingn me going :-)) 

When my students enter my classroom next week I want to be able to inspire them.  If I am not working toward goals and doing something to better myself, how can I expect them to set a goal and work toward it?  

I hope that the kids who come into my classroom (and those who have already passed through it) know that I care about them and want them to set their mind to something BIG and DO IT!

Go do great things today!

Power, Freedom, and Fortune

The train depot in Thomson can be seen as what was once a symbol of power, freedom, and fortune.  Some people used that depot and the train as their way out (freedom) while others were making their honest living (fortune) on the rails.   We can't forget train song lyrics about "leaving on a midnight train" or the Freight Train Boogie and the power of Casey Jones.  There is something truly powerful and freeing about trains, tracks, and the depots that connect them.

 I was so happy to make it to the train depot in Thomson on one of my long for me bike rides.  It gave me a chance to reflect on how Thomson, Illinois, gave me freedom and fortune in so many ways.  While I couldn't wait to leave Thomson as soon as I graduated from high school, I learned so much in that small town that is linked to other small towns along the Mississippi River by the railroad tracks that connect them. 


Riding my bike from Savanna to Thomson was a great chance to think about all the times I'd driven on Riverview Road as I was learning to drive or even just crusing on a Friday or Saturday night. 

This summer (well really even all the months since March) have allowed me to do more reflecting than usual.  

 During my ride I also was struck by the many cactus along the route.  I was struck by them.  I am a horrible gardener.  In fact, my hanging baskets on my porch right now have been sadly neglected and really just need to be thrown out.  The cactus also had an immediate connection for me to the picture book Nobody Hugs a Cactus (You should look for it.  It's a quick read.)  I thought about the defense of the prickly needles.  There aren't any beautiful blooms or gorgeous flowers on these prickly little plants but I sure do believe that when they are in the right environment - they bloom in their own way.  That's true about me.  In the right environment I am a ROCKSTAR.  I've spent a lot of time looking for the right places for myself and I am so thankful for finding them.

Now the hard part is avoiding the places where I'm not meant for.  What is a desert environment for you?  Where do you get all the things you need (the fertilizer, sunlight, water, proper weeding)? 

Lucky for me I have an amazing family who help me bloom.

 44 years of blooming!  I can't believe that I celebrated my 44th birthday in July.        

 Virtual races are a great chance to get together with running/fitness friends.  Fellow Flowers has a great virtual series and they just let us know that they have a race series coming to Madison, WI, in 2021!   It's sure to be a great one.

 So much of my sanity during these last 5 months has come from running.  While races don't seem to be an option this fall, I am training to run my half marathon on September 19 or 20.  7 more weeks of good, smart training with the plan from @the_radiant_runner. 


I'm not letting this unusual summer ruin our fun.  We are running, riding bikes, and trying new things, too.  Saturday we went kayaking for the first time ever...it was HARD for me.  I'm glad we did it.  I can check it off the bucket list.

So pack to the title.  What mades you think of power, freedom, and fortune?  At first I thought of the railroad tracks, trains, the depots in small towns along the river.  

If you are in the right environment and have the right encouragement, you will have all the power, freedom, and fortune that you need.  

 Here's to a new month ( I know it's August 2 but I started thinking about this post yesterday so it's still a pretty new month.) and getting closer to your goals---power, freedom, and fortune.  They're yours if you go for them.

Side note - After a slight COVID delay, I am so excited to report that Kate has her license.....Now I just need to quit worrying every time she leaves the house.

If you stuck with my rambling this long - thanks!

How are Things Going?

I am one of those people who always answers that question (How are things going?) with a good or great.   It's just what I do.  I try to be positive and I really am most of the time.

My dad is in the middle....I think this was 1979...  Sure do miss him...

During all of the closings and strangeness of COVID-19, I've been pretty good with things but by Friday (6/12) I just needed to have my own little pity party.  There were a few reasons for it:   It was the 3 year anniversary of my dad's death, the news of no in person summer school was shared, and the Quad City Marathon (half) that was my only race on the 2019 calendar was cancelled (well--it went virtual but to me that is the same as being cancelled).

           


Have you had to let yourself feel the feelings and be sad recently?

The good news is I was able to feel all the feelings (and yes I used the entire day to be sad) and then Saturday was a new and wonderful day!

There are so many things going well and I need to savor those moments and be grateful (things that I am focusing on with the help of @theradiantrunner) ).  Kate and I have continued to run together 3 times a week, I've been able to walk with a friend over her lunch hour at least once each week, I have just 2 modules left of my post grad classes, it's Summer!, and I've had ice cream almost every day this month.

We attended a graduation party on Saturday and it reminded me of all the great things that have.  The graduate is going to do amazing things and it was fun to think about all the connections I have to her from being her mom's boss when she was just graduating high school herself, to having the graduate work for us, to getting to be her little sister's teacher this school year.

From all the news about Black Lives Matter I was able to connect with a dear friend from my college years who is a sign language interpreter in Los Angeles now!  Check her out on Instagram (@blackterplife).   I loved being her roommate and I am had been searching for her for years.   I read about the work she is doing and I couldn't wait to reconnect with her!  Life is GOOD!  It's just a matter of where you put your focus.

My running and walking (intentional) miles for the year are at 845.  I am happy with that.  I'm ramping up my running miles and hoping to have some weeks with 35 to 40 running miles soon.

Make the week ahead a great one.  Show gratititude daily and take time to savor the moments.  It will help you to clearly see and appreciate the good in your life.