Since as far back as January 2016 I have chosen a word for each year. That first year I chose Courage. It was a word I relied on and drew strength from in many areas of my life. In 2020 I chose the word Simplify. It was very meaningful and powerful for me as I lived through a pandemic and navigated uncharted territory.
This year I have really struggled to settle in on my word.
You can read about the basis of Jon Gordon's work with One Word HERE.
My original thoughts about my word was that I was going to choose trust. Much of it having to do with trusting myself. Then I switched my thinking to using TRUTH. As I prayed over those 2 possibilities last week, I knew they weren't right for me. I switched my thinking to the word HOPE.
I really thought that was going to be my word. I started to focus in on my 2021 intentions. I began asking myself questions about my goals for the year and what qualities in myself I was really going to grow and improve on. I began thinking about how I wanted to grow in 2021 - personally, professionally, as a parent. GROW started to stick out to me as an important word. BUILD was a word that resonated with me. 
On the shortest day of the year (December 21 - Winter solstice) I had thought my word was going to be LIGHT. I read an article in the Telegraph Herald during December that talked about how important the balance of light and dark was. It talked about how our eyes adjust to the darkness and the shadows that go deep. Light really seemed like a great word because I associated it with being the happy parts of things, welcoming, sunshine through clouds. I'm trying so hard to left go of feelings that drag me into the darkness: resentment and anger. Light and grace and gratitude were possible words.
As I was reading more and more as the new year approached, more and more words were swimming around in my mind. I wasn't narrowing things down at all. The words were growing and now I had so many choices that I was feeling choice paralysis. 
Thinking about my goals, both short term and long term, helped me to rule out a few words but then more words would come to my mind. On January 1 I started some writing and I made a few different lists with some of the words I was thinking about. This was such a strange feeling for me because ever since I had started this One Word Process in 2016, my word always seemed to choose me.
Social media had to play a little part in the process, too....A former neighbor shared this image:
My first 4 words were change, breakthrough, purpose, and lessons.
As I was doing some things on January 1, I was really stuck on the butterfly. I still didn't have a word but I liked the symbolism of the butterfly. 
When the facebook Nametests showed up with the above answer, I was settled on the symbol of a butterfly but not a word yet. There were so many reasons I love the butterfly. One reason I love butterflies is that they remind me of a play that my dad and brother were in during the summer of 1984: Bullfrogs and Butterflies. Here's a link to the song from that musical. It seemed like I was leaning toward the word grow or evolve. Even HOPE was still a connection to the butterfly. Transform, change, potential, joy and courage popped up as I was thinking and praying over my word. The list was growing instead of shrinking.
My focus with in 2021 was to grow and become stronger and more confident. It also meant letting go of the things that I cannot control.
Now it came time to think of stories and connections that could help me find the right word. I thought of the word BECOME to go along with GROW. I was listening to something Matthew West was sharing on Instagram when he talked about Paul and how he was the real deal. Matthew West quoted from 1 Timothy 1:15. This made me think TRUTH might be the word.
At this point you can probably tell that I could not narrow things down. Words kept being added to my list of possibilities.
Have you read The Velveteen Rabbit? There was a part in that story that kept resonating with me especially asIt's such a memorable story line:
Now I was feeling like this ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ was what I was thinking and feeling. I wanted my word to be REAL and for me and to include all the parts of my story.
Last week in our #movewithmel coaching call, Mel said, "You don't have to love all of your story but you have to take it all/acknowledge it all." That hit me HARD. I try to ignore the parts of my story that I don't like or feel don't make me "look" good. In all honesty, social media makes that possible for so many of us. If you are still with me in my process of finding my word - thank you. I was getting closer to finding my word.
I knew I wanted to be REAL and relate somehow to the butterfly symbol.
We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty – Maya Angelou
These creatures are teachers in disguise! I may have spent the last couple of year's stuck and not moving forward but this is the year I BREAKTHROUGH. My word is BELIEVE!!! I will believe in my faith, believe in my journey, believe in my role as a mom, believe in my own strength, believe in my ability to overcome. I will believe that I am growing even when I cannot feel it or see it. I will believe that change is okay (and even GOOD). I will use those buterfly wings to fly forward with confidence. BELIEVE!
